Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
