epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
