Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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