apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
