so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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