Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize