The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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