He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize