All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Bring me that man meat
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize