My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
