dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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