ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize