That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
