Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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