I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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