the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
