We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
