I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
