I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm determined to sit on that face.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
