there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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