it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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