Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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