i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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