Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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