I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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