happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
