Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
