whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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