The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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