awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
