He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
