needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
