She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize