I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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