he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
