I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
