I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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