My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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