Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Found your dick twin last night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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