I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
