great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
