what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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