Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We have so much sex to catch up on
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
