Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize