I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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