He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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