i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
