I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Where did you get a picture of my penis
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
