are you still at the devil's house?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
so much tequila, so little girl.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
