so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
