That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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