Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can I color on your dick again?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
