i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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