My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
