Whoa Z and x make the same sound
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
