idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
