morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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