The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
