finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize