Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i jhust puked up my retainher.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
