Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize