I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
