how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
