i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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