i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
we're so committed to being not committed
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
