Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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