i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
