OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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