That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
