If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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