whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
