Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
